21/03/2014

Dear Mum, 

WOW!! What a day indeed! 

That total plantpot is going off again, I'm sure you've heard me cursing all day about him. I'm not backing off this time, he can sit on it. I'm not being pushed about by him anymore. I've made my position quite clear & he can find a way to be okay with it. 

Your house is *officially* clear now, I've taken the final meter readings tonight. Going to phone the peoples tomorrow or next week. It was sad walking out tonight, knowing I wouldn't ever go back. There were 3 daffodils ready to bloom in the garden, I took them to put in a vase, they're *your* daffodils and I'd be damned if anyone else was having them. I stood in your front room tonight & I could just see you sat on your bed laughing, clear as day. I miss you. 

Kirsty arranged for me to stay at Liz's on Sunday night, so me & Carl are apart. I thought it was a sweet thought bless her. She's gunna do my nails & eyebrows for the wedding & make up too she says. I can't say I'm thrilled with having liz so closely involved but there we go, she's not a patch on you (which you know) She didn't even call on my birthday & told me yesterday she "couldn't" have come to see me. How did she think I felt then? Idiot. 

Steve came over last night to drop your key off. We had a bit of a minute. He feels like me, like there's just a long stretch of nothing ahead. You were our world for 7 months & now you're gone there's just nothing left, nothing to focus on or plan or sort. It's very lonely. 

I took the sympathy cards down today. Not because I want to forget you, but a constant reminder that you're gone is difficult to look at all the time. I feel the same about them as you did about get well cards, so I'm sure you understand. 

Anyway, I think thats it for today. 

Love you Mum, missing you xxx